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The Dark Side of Excellence

The Dark Side of Excellence

by | Apr 14, 2017 | Depression, Enough, Enoughness, Excellence, Fear, Happiness, identity, insecurity, Needs, Purpose, Satisfaction |

Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND

Dr. Teray offers natural and integrative programs for healing anxiety & depression, chronic fatigue, and digestive conditions. She is a licensed naturopathic doctor, wellness coach, author, and creator of the Deeply Happy Expert Series. She serves clients globally via phone and video consultation.
Get in touch at http://www.deeplyhappy.com/contact/

Latest posts by Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND (see all)

Once there was a greatly admired martial arts master. He was at the highest level of his field, skilled not just in his physical prowess, but in his deep understanding of the subtle energies that govern the practice. He was a great friend to many, often the first to help in a time of crisis. He was even an accomplished sushi chef. It seemed there was nothing he couldn’t do. He was the envy of many. One day, he took his life “with his own steady hand.” My teacher opened up one of his courses with this story. His intention was to remind us that while cultivating great skill is a wonderful thing, it does not erase the deep sense of not being enough. Achievement and success may feel good, but if you have hungry ghosts in your heart who always want more, the pleasure is fleeting. What was once your dream come true becomes ordinary, and not quite what you wanted. One of the signs of addiction is believing that the thing you desire will solve your problems. It doesn’t work, yet you persist in the belief and want even more. You’re like a big empty bowl, that only gets bigger the more you try to fill it up. Here’s another way. Become a smaller bowl. I know this is the opposite of what many self help books and life coaches tell you to do. They tell you to dream big and reach for the stars. With the subtext being, this will make you happy. The truth is, beyond what you need to live a comfortable life, there...
What To Do With All That Advice

What To Do With All That Advice

by | Jun 10, 2016 | Anxiety, Books, insecurity, Research, Uncategorized |

Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND

Dr. Teray offers natural and integrative programs for healing anxiety & depression, chronic fatigue, and digestive conditions. She is a licensed naturopathic doctor, wellness coach, author, and creator of the Deeply Happy Expert Series. She serves clients globally via phone and video consultation.
Get in touch at http://www.deeplyhappy.com/contact/

Latest posts by Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND (see all)

There’s no shortage of advice in the world. Everywhere you turn, someone is telling you the absolute best way to do live your life. Someone says, “Antidepressants are dangerous!” Another piece tells you, “Stop shaming people for taking meds for depression.” Then you read, “People take drugs for diabetes, why shouldn’t you take it for depression? They are both diseases.” “Vegetarians are less depressed.” “Paleo cured my depression.” And something inside you freaks out. I fall into this trap when it comes to baby-raising advice. When one popular baby sleep book stated that “by twelve weeks, your baby should be able sleep up to 10 hours straight”, I could almost feel my blood pressure rising. I’m lucky if baby K does five!!!  I thought frantically. Ever get that feeling? You’re gripped with the fear that you’re doing it wrong. This literally raises cortisol (your stress hormone), because of the sense of urgency created. Interestingly, elevated cortisol is commonly found in depressed and anxious people. Here’s what I do to stay sane and happy amidst the deluge: I hold it all very lightly. Holding it lightly means to take it in…and then pull back and remember that you are figuring out things as best you can. Naturally, even as I write this, the mean voice in my head snarks, “Well, if you didn’t hold it all so lightly, you’d probably be farther along by now!” What does your inner mean voice say? Pull back and hold that lightly as well. In practical terms, it means snapping that baby sleep book shut, setting it aside, and observing where my baby is...
That Moment When Everyone is Secretly Laughing at You

That Moment When Everyone is Secretly Laughing at You

by | Jun 7, 2015 | Anxiety, Enoughness, insecurity, Inspiration |

Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND

Dr. Teray offers natural and integrative programs for healing anxiety & depression, chronic fatigue, and digestive conditions. She is a licensed naturopathic doctor, wellness coach, author, and creator of the Deeply Happy Expert Series. She serves clients globally via phone and video consultation.
Get in touch at http://www.deeplyhappy.com/contact/

Latest posts by Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND (see all)

If you’re like me, you’ve experienced the fear of looking like a total idiot. It comes up when you’re about to stick your neck out for something you believe in. Or when you’re about to reveal a part of yourself for the first time. Or you’re about to launch a new project that you want badly to succeed. It can happen at a gathering where you don’t know many people, and everyone seems so much cooler and more sophisticated than you. This happened to me, years ago, at a beach party with some new friends. I was having a good time letting my hair down, cutting loose, and dancing, as they say, like no one was watching. Suddenly, I was overcome by a wave of self-consciousness. I was sure that I looked ridiculous, and that the people around me were laughing at me behind my back. Just as I was about to get sucked into a spiral of doubt and insecurity, I noticed something: Nobody was actually looking at me. And then I realized: Everyone’s too caught up in their own inner drama to pay that much attention to me. And I relaxed. I remind myself of that incident everytime my fear of looking dumb threatens to take me out. Why am I sharing this? Because I want you to stop obsessing over whether you’re keeping up, or acting cool enough.  Stop stressing about whether you’re “good enough” according to someone else’s standard. Because A: they’re probably not paying that much attention. And B: It’s distracting you from the inner voice that is guiding you on your true path.  In...