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The Dark Side of Excellence

The Dark Side of Excellence

by | Apr 14, 2017 | Depression, Enough, Enoughness, Excellence, Fear, Happiness, identity, insecurity, Needs, Purpose, Satisfaction |

Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND

Dr. Teray offers natural and integrative programs for healing anxiety & depression, chronic fatigue, and digestive conditions. She is a licensed naturopathic doctor, wellness coach, author, and creator of the Deeply Happy Expert Series. She serves clients globally via phone and video consultation.
Get in touch at http://www.deeplyhappy.com/contact/

Latest posts by Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND (see all)

Once there was a greatly admired martial arts master. He was at the highest level of his field, skilled not just in his physical prowess, but in his deep understanding of the subtle energies that govern the practice. He was a great friend to many, often the first to help in a time of crisis. He was even an accomplished sushi chef. It seemed there was nothing he couldn’t do. He was the envy of many. One day, he took his life “with his own steady hand.” My teacher opened up one of his courses with this story. His intention was to remind us that while cultivating great skill is a wonderful thing, it does not erase the deep sense of not being enough. Achievement and success may feel good, but if you have hungry ghosts in your heart who always want more, the pleasure is fleeting. What was once your dream come true becomes ordinary, and not quite what you wanted. One of the signs of addiction is believing that the thing you desire will solve your problems. It doesn’t work, yet you persist in the belief and want even more. You’re like a big empty bowl, that only gets bigger the more you try to fill it up. Here’s another way. Become a smaller bowl. I know this is the opposite of what many self help books and life coaches tell you to do. They tell you to dream big and reach for the stars. With the subtext being, this will make you happy. The truth is, beyond what you need to live a comfortable life, there...

Is This Good Enough?

by | Mar 12, 2015 | Enough, Enoughness, Happiness, Needs, Satisfaction, Uncategorized |

Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND

Dr. Teray offers natural and integrative programs for healing anxiety & depression, chronic fatigue, and digestive conditions. She is a licensed naturopathic doctor, wellness coach, author, and creator of the Deeply Happy Expert Series. She serves clients globally via phone and video consultation.
Get in touch at http://www.deeplyhappy.com/contact/

Latest posts by Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND (see all)

Accept only the best. While this seems like a good motto, evidence shows that it’s a recipe for unhappiness. You’re deluged with an abundance of choices everyday. No doubt you feel some pressure to make the smartest decisions – choose a car with the best bang for buck, hire the most talented nanny, go on the most awesome vacations. In short – have the best life ever. The problem is, striving for the best life ever is fueled by dissatisfaction. Because there is always something “better.” And it usually belongs to someone else. Or happened yesterday. The quest for best is a bottomless pit, where nothing is good enough. Least of all, you. Hard to feel fulfilled with that mindset. Here’s the cure  – embrace good enough. Simply put, people who have lower standards feel happier. But how do you live your potential and cultivate a life of purpose, while embracing good enough? Living purposefully means being in full acceptance of who you are, and following your interests and talents. In this way, you enjoy your daily life, and are more likely to create a positive impact in the world. In the everyday practice of purpose, you can allow yourself to be content with simple, doable actions in the service of your deepest intent. Author Jennifer Louden puts it really well when she outlines the Conditions of Enoughness in four steps: 1. Name what is enough in simple, measurable facts.  Whether it’s about what you do (I will drink a green smoothie), or a circumstance (I have one friend I can reach out to). 2. Set a time (daily,...

Four Keys to Banishing Resentment and Irritation

by | Feb 19, 2015 | Irritability, Needs, Relationship, Resentment, Self-care |

Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND

Dr. Teray offers natural and integrative programs for healing anxiety & depression, chronic fatigue, and digestive conditions. She is a licensed naturopathic doctor, wellness coach, author, and creator of the Deeply Happy Expert Series. She serves clients globally via phone and video consultation.
Get in touch at http://www.deeplyhappy.com/contact/

Latest posts by Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND (see all)

I’m just so irritated all the time. I hear this from my patients a lot. Usually, their irritation is directed to their spouse or children. There are books, courses and counselors who can be helpful in improving communication, in order to resolve conflict and prevent resentment. But before improving communication, there is something you need to take care of, that is even more important:  Your own wellbeing.   If you are irritable and resentful, I can almost guarantee that your self-care is in the trash. And without meeting your own needs, any negotiation relationship starts off on the wrong foot. Until you understand what it means to take great care of yourself, your perception of what others owe you will be distorted, and most likely, unrealistic. Let’s face it: asking other people to change their behavior is hard. Not impossible, but hard. So if you’re burned out today, and you want to end resentment now, you have to take radical responsibility for your own well being. Here are your four keys to ending resentment, through radical self-care: #1 See every adult as abundantly resourced and intelligent, with everything they need to succeed. You do not need to solve their problems for them. Or do their laundry. Why is this important? You’re a good person. It’s natural to want to help others. But every time you take on responsibility that isn’t yours, you expend energy that you may not really have. Worse, others become dependent on you without even realizing it.  Before you know it, you have created a story where you do everything and nobody does anything for you. And guess what, you’re right. Barring any life-threatening circumstance,...