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Four Keys to Banishing Resentment and Irritation

by | Feb 19, 2015 | Irritability, Needs, Relationship, Resentment, Self-care |

Teray Garchitorena Kunishi, ND

Dr. Teray offers natural and integrative programs for healing anxiety & depression, chronic fatigue, and digestive conditions. She is a licensed naturopathic doctor, wellness coach, author, and creator of the Deeply Happy Expert Series. She serves clients globally via phone and video consultation.
Get in touch at http://www.deeplyhappy.com/contact/

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I’m just so irritated all the time. I hear this from my patients a lot. Usually, their irritation is directed to their spouse or children. There are books, courses and counselors who can be helpful in improving communication, in order to resolve conflict and prevent resentment. But before improving communication, there is something you need to take care of, that is even more important:  Your own wellbeing.   If you are irritable and resentful, I can almost guarantee that your self-care is in the trash. And without meeting your own needs, any negotiation relationship starts off on the wrong foot. Until you understand what it means to take great care of yourself, your perception of what others owe you will be distorted, and most likely, unrealistic. Let’s face it: asking other people to change their behavior is hard. Not impossible, but hard. So if you’re burned out today, and you want to end resentment now, you have to take radical responsibility for your own well being. Here are your four keys to ending resentment, through radical self-care: #1 See every adult as abundantly resourced and intelligent, with everything they need to succeed. You do not need to solve their problems for them. Or do their laundry. Why is this important? You’re a good person. It’s natural to want to help others. But every time you take on responsibility that isn’t yours, you expend energy that you may not really have. Worse, others become dependent on you without even realizing it.  Before you know it, you have created a story where you do everything and nobody does anything for you. And guess what, you’re right. Barring any life-threatening circumstance,...